The Unusual Suspects

Faking is the name of the game. Just as all the action from IPL shifts away from the playing grounds to the controversy raked up by the fake IPL player, I sit back marveling at the guts of this guy who has assumed a cult status. Call him a moron and people reading him as suckers for gossip but you can't write him off. Despite being unseen, he will in all probability be remembered as the face of IPL-2. There is so much of rumor mongering about the identity of the player that I am reminded of the Kala Bandar episode in New Delhi. Everyone seems to have an opinion and the blogosphere is full of “Guess Who” takes on the Fake IPL Player. Not the one to be left far behind, here's my top 5 chart on the suspects:

"If not the ball(s), the A** show gives me the limelight"

Suspect 1 - Sreesanth: Yeah, he touches low levels of self-deprecation by calling himself Appam C****** but come to think of it in a different light. The guy doesn’t miss one chance to hog the limelight. Be it with his pelvic thrusts in the middle of the ground or cry baby act after a match, Sreesanth makes sure that he is talked about for anything even if that is a non-cricketing reason. Now he has given himself a name that is going to stick around for a long-long time hoping that any publicity is good publicity. Sreesanth is my suspect number 1 for that very reason!

"Us thappad ki goonj sunayi di thee mujhe..ab us goonj ki goonj suno"

Suspect 2 – Bhajji: If you don’t buy the logic that Sreesanth would gift himself with a demeaning epithet that’ll stick with him for a long time, then you might agree that only an enemy would christen him so. Who else but Bhajji fits the bill? IPL-1’s biggest talking point was the slapgate involving Bhajji and Sreesanth that saw the star sardar losing out on a number of IPL matches and a hefty amount of money. Sreesanth will not be playing in the IPL so the only way to get even with him was to tackle him off field. Also, going by his knack of making strong comebacks, Bhajji’s candidature for the position of suspect number 2 holds promise.

"Who says that a Gavaskar backs off”

Suspect 3 – Rohan Gavaskar: Out of sight is out of mind. So thought Rohan too. Sunny scorned at the idea of four captain theory of KKR and SRK lashed at him. Rohan Gavaskar then discovered a sense of filial duty and took it upon himself to score over SRK. He had also played for Bengal in Ranji and had played for India under Saurav. Maybe the disrespect shown towards his former captain too ignited the fire. I am sure he must be having ample friends within the KKR team to get the inside dope to churn the masala. Think about it!

"I don't like SRK. He killed Shilpa, our owner, in Baazigar"

Suspect 4 – Yusuf Pathan: I remember watching the Kevin Specey starrer The Usual Suspects and one thing that I learnt from it was to never assume the most usual suspect to be the one behind the crime. There are two reasons why I suspect Yusuf Pathan – 1. He does not know English so no one will suspect him ever while he can get others to write for him and, 2. He has a brother in Irfan Pathan just as the fake IPL player claims to have. Guys, just look at the disdain with which he treated the KKR bowlers the other night. The marauder does harbour some ill feelings against KKR it seems.

"Mili juli sarkaar"

Suspect 5 – Videshi Taaqat: It is a customary ritual to name Videshi Taaqat for all our woes at the very outset. That makes me come to two videshi taaqats. Pakistani and Australian players have every reason to feel jealous of the people playing in the IPL. Why? C'mon, while those guys are sweating it out in the heat of Dubai for peanuts in comparison to their IPL paychecks, their counterparts from other nations are busy minting money in the winter of South Africa. Moreover, no one is talking about them. There is hardly anyone who cares to know if Shahid Afridi took 6 wickets or if Ricky Ponting was playing in Dubai. World cricket's attention is on IPL. The jealousy factor came to play and the players of the two teams joined hands to create the muck. Their involvement in the blog can be cited as the plausible reason of a poor performance on field in the first one dayer they played in Dubai.

I feel sorry for the fringe India players like Aakash Chopra and Ranadeb Bose who might well be nothing more than the usual Deane Keatons in this mystery thriller called “The Fake IPL Player”.

The blogger has not blogged for over a day and a half. Is he close to being caught after 5 days of misadventure? As a cricket frenzied nation, that laps up anything from a God drinking milk to a monkey man with a circuit board on his chests, waits in anticipation, the Kaiser Soze of the plot keeps us all amused with his stories.

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Delhi – 6 : The Movie Review – and being Rakyesh Omprakash Mehra

Its always interesting to review a movie such as Delhi 6 which has invoked such mixed reactions. So I am sure I am going to enjoy writing this review as much you are going to read it! :P

Being born in the heart of Delhi – 6 (Chandini Chowk / Old Delhi) is no mean feat on its own. Being born there with a name that reads, Rakyesh Om Prakash Mehra makes it all the more difficult.

Rakyesh is the man who has given us Aks and more importantly the iconic Rang De Basanti. RDB made me and probably a good chunk of the youth think and look beyond the oblivion of our lives and made us more responsible, more thinking – somewhere in the subconscious it made me respect the man who got us RDB – a generation awakened. RDB was sorta Classic.

An RDB doesn’t happen every year – agreed. Butt, there is a big one out there! The evolution and thus the expectations just can’t stop. The hunger and the thirst just grow.

Anyways, let’s be modest with our expectations as we all know that Delhi 6 isn’t in the same league – however, it still doesn’t suggest if it’s poor cinema. Let’s see what works and what doesn’t.

No harm in starting with what works. Yes, if something works beyond any doubts whatsoever: that’s Delhi 6’s music. Rehman does a good job sinking in the movie and giving us tracks which is just not restricted to the brilliant Masakali and Dilli 6. If you are sensitive to music you may even find Genda Phool and the Aarti equally enchanting. Rehman very successfully creates music which sounds contemporary, yet is full of old world soul – and interestingly sounds very local. Not to forget, Prasoon pens down lyrics which radiate the vibes of Purani Dilli – trust me its difficult doing so as the place has a culture not really found anywhere else. Enough of discussing Rehman and Prasoon – we surely have come to terms with them – they almost every time pleasantly surprise us with what they come up with. I just hope that they continue with their good work. The movie does not have an anthem number – as it could never have one. It’s difficult to fit a Paathshala here. It’s a fact we must understand as only this would help us appreciate the simplicity and subtlety of the music.

Let’s get into difficult territory now. Music was the high-point where in it is quite likely that there would be consensus of sorts. So let’s explore where that may not be the case. The movie was built on ideas and the Kaala Bandar was supposed to drive things home. As awkward as it sounds is what reflects on the screen too.

Abhishek (a second generation Indian American) gets his Grand-Mom home (Dilli-6) as she is anticipating her death. India is a revelation of sorts form him. He finds a lot of issues around that people need to fix. So he comes as the change agent who eventually becomes the sacrificial lamb for a greater cause. Too idealistic, for some; but this is what the movie is about.

Rakyesh is not just another film maker – we undeniably agree to it; so it does not come as a surprise that he wants to communicate to his audience – he just doesn’t want his movies to remain a monologue. He wants us to think and take his movies out of the theater and to discuss it on the streets and our homes too. He is social revolutionist of sorts. He tries to touch the entire canvas of the contemporary problems in our country - Caste conflicts, communal divide, corrupt political system, dowry, dysfunctional social infrastructure, economic disparities, moral policing, sensationalism in media, sexual repression and exploitation, suppression of the girl child, superstitions and more...

But this time around the revolutionist nearly fails in execution despite the technical brilliance that the movie exudes. The weakest links are the Story, Screenplay and the Lead Actor. The story telling just doesn’t work this time. It fails to keep you glued. It just does not have the moments. Abhishek fails miserably in what he does – all you have his empathy for him as you see him as the nice guy – which just isn’t enough.

He irritates you with a faker accent than you can imagine – but it would be very mean and superficial of me to make it the yardstick. He is carrying the movie on his shoulders so they better be capable. Interestingly all the sidekicks (I know that sounds derogatory for the wonderful cast ensemble that the movie boasts of) do more than what was expected of them but they can’t make up for the lead (else why would you call the lead, the lead!!) Taking names would be an injustice to the rest – so I would take all… Sheeba Chaddha, Prem Chopra, Deepak Dobriyal, Divya Dutta, Rishi Kapoor, Atul Kulkarni, Pavan Malhotra, Supriya Pathak, Om Puri, Vijay Raaz, K.K. Raina, Aditi Rao (oh my my, she is cute in her Sari clad avatar) and Cyrus Sahukar – nearly everyone has a small story which gives movie whatever little it has for the viewers.

Abhishek somehow fails to grow beyond the nice guy who has come down from the US to his roots. He is supposed to be the change agent – but just somehow doesn’t fit too well. Partly it’s his failure; partly it is Rakyesh’s. While Abhishek failed in delivering, Rakyesh failed in developing the lead. I am not competent enough to tell you what it should have been like – but I can surely tell you the ideas just did not get onto the screen successfully. Kaala Bandar has a louder presence than it should have had – it rips the movie of its sensitivities while it gives some of it. Maybe, Kaala Bandar was not the right choice to weave the story around. I don’t know if it were; but it somehow does not work.

I am not considering Sonam to be in the lead, because in all honesty she is not. In my humble opinion, playing the love interest of the lead does not make you another lead. She is a part of the sidekicks - who has been blessed with longer screen presence as she is our Hero’s sweetheart. This is surely not to question Sonam’s performance. She does what she is expected to; and that too at an acceptable level. She is cute, chirpy and a rebel within with her feet on the ground, yet hopes high in the sky.

Binod’s Camerawork is top notch – makes the movie easy on the eyes especially the songs – the simplicity remains the biggest virtue.

The most bizarre part of the movie was the presence of Amitabh Bachchan: you wonder whether Amitabh was the obvious choice or was he forced upon the script.

The movie as a whole is a mixed bag – there would be definitive reasons to like it as would be to find it loose and disoriented.

At the end of everything we tend to feel being Rakyesh isn’t easy. When the entire world is watching, he has to put his best foot forward.

I used to think, to err is Human, but not when your name is Rakyesh Om Prakash Mehra! ;)

The ratings would not be able to give true representation to what the movie deserves [coz for me its between 1 and 4 stars out of 5 on different parameters]. I would want you to rate and reason it. Please leave a comment especially if you have a rating in your mind!

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